Toxic Masculinity (n.) - OCP Dictionary
A system of beliefs perpetuated by cis, heteronormative, Eurocentric, patriarchal, standards that define a set of behaviours/actions that men are expected to adhere to.
First, let’s separate the ideas of “masculinity” vs. “toxic masculinity.”
Toxic masculinity is not a critique of men (gents, can you please read that twice before sending us angry essays in our DMs)– it is a critique of the toxic, harmful, & dangerous expectations that many men can end up internalizing. It’s not about getting rid of “men” but changing our restrictive societal expectations of how men are expected to be, act, & exist.
Toxic masculinity is often associated with a culture of dominance. AKA violence as a signifier of power, unhealthy competition, and the suppression of one’s full range of emotions.
Toxic masculinity doesn’t refer to any single individual but rather to how society often reinforces unhealthy expectations for someone to be considered a “real man.”
These outdated (and let’s be honest, they were NEVER great) ideals harm everyone involved: the woman and partners subjected to gender-based violence and inequities created by patriarchal systems, children who never learn to process their full range of emotions fully, and of course, these men themselves.
"Man up"
“Real men don’t cry”
“Men are the ones that take care and provide for the family"
"Boys will be boys"
"Stop being such a girl"
"Boys are easier to raise than girls"
How could raising a child of any gender be 'easier"? Is it perhaps because the standards reinforced by toxic masculinity have taught entire generations that raising boys is less work because you don't have to put in the emotional labour? That boys don't "need" to be taught how to navigate their emotions?
Celebrating promiscuity in men while degrading promiscuity in women
Hollywood's obsession with movies about male aggression/gender-based violence/fighting for 'your girl.'
Frat boy culture and its extension to the workplace & home
Fitness cultures emphasize pushing the body to the limit/restricting needs like rest, sleep, food
"Bro-code" that permits men to disrespect women
Rape culture
Feeling the need to physically fight or destroy things when angry or in disagreement.
People/Online spaces which claim 'masculinity is in crisis' and falsely attribute men's problems to women/feminism (ex. Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson)
If you look back at our recent post, The Rise of the Lonely Man, you start to see the harmful repercussions of a societal framework where men aren’t allowed to express themselves freely and learn to navigate their emotions healthily—leading to spikes in loneliness, anxiety, depression, and other mental health crises.
Without safer & healthy means to address their emotions, these men often take out their frustrations in the only way they’ve been taught: violently (physically, psychologically, emotionally & financially) on more systemically oppressed folks. This perpetuates the toxic masculinity cycle all over again.
No behaviours, actions, or emotional expressions are specifically for “men” or “women.”
Toxic masculinity thrives on the idea that men are only supposed to feel and express a limited range of emotions. Emotions play a critical role in our well-being (Remember the movie Inside Out?).
One more time: human emotions and experiences are not gender-dependent.
We all deserve to have the full range of our emotions felt, valued, and respected.
Let boys, men, and everyone, freely express their emotions. That also means holding each other accountable when you see someone (@ the boys) perpetuating the toxic parts of masculinity. People, including kids, need to be able to feel and experience emotions to learn how to deal with them in healthy, safer ways. Processing feelings takes work, and we can't just ignore them until they disappear because, trust us (and our therapist) – they don't just disappear.
Let boys, men, and everyone dress and wear whatever they want! Stop gendering clothes, styles, and aesthetics – traditionally, "masculine" or "feminine" apparel doesn't necessarily have to mean they're designed for any specific gender!
People of all genders need communities and spaces where they feel seen, heard and can express themselves fully. Many men are turning to online communities (and figures like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson) that foster toxic masculinity and capitalize on the very real pain men experience. They are suffering from the internalized patriarchal values & societal expectations of toxic masculinity — but the solution to this pain isn't in the manosphere; it's in doctor's offices, therapy, relationships and healthy community.
This means demanding comprehensive, well-funded and accessible services & communities for men. We need better mental health support for men and better public education, so folks don't fall through the cracks.
