Did you know, your ‘right to comfort’ is a characteristic of white supremacy?
understanding white supremacy culture so we can dismantle the hell out of it
Have you ever been a situation or witnessed a situation where...
A white person gets really defensive and uncomfortable when discussions of racism arise, especially when someone speaks to the role white people have systemically played. This white person then derails the conversation, makes false equivalencies and tries to prioritize a narrative that makes them feel less vulnerable or uncomfortable.
This is an example of the right to comfort: when faced with an uncomfortable truth, white people who aren't doing the work feel discomfort. Unlike BIPOC and other marginalized communities who constantly feel uncomfortable in a system designed to exclude them, because white people are so used to being comfortable, this sudden disruption of their status quo of 'comfort' can feel like exclusion or even oppression.
When we can't tolerate hard conversations out of fear of conflict, we prioritize our own comfort over the oppression of real human beings
The right to comfort is the cultural assumption that we (especially those of us with formal and informal power) inherently deserve emotional and psychological comfort in conversations about prejudice.
This means that we can't tolerate any type of conflict, especially open conflict - which prevents us from having meaningful conversations and listening to the voices and experiences of systemically neglected people.
And this manifests at an individual level through tone policing and demanding apologies from BIPOC, and systemically as institutional policies and practices that deliberately oppress and punish people/groups who advocate for their rights through protest - or other 'inappropriate' means. Think about how the RCMP brutalized Indigenous land defenders, but let the 'Freedom' Convoy terrorize Ottowa for weeks.
What is white supremacy culture?
In this post series, we unpack some of the characteristics of White Supremacy Culture: the values, attitudes, and behaviours associated with yt supremacy and how they show up in our lives, including:
Power hoarding
Fear of open conflict
Individualism
Progress is defined as more, bigger, and faster
Objectivity
Right to comfort
Perfectionism
Sense of urgency
Defensiveness
Quantity over quality
Worship of the written word
Paternalism
Either/or thinking
These characteristics are deeply embedded in our society, by both white and non-white people. Even if these characteristics don't individually seem concerning, when put together and embedded in the fabric of our society (so normalized we don't think to question them), and coupled with patriarchy, ableism, etc., they become a very real threat to our world.
“When we consider that discomfort is at the root of learning and growth, and that white fragility has been at the heart of ongoing harms and continues to be an excuse to not listen, accept and take responsibility for racism. The right to comfort is a mentality and a rationale for decades of inaction. We must challenge that thinking and response and get deeply uncomfortable in order to move forward.
When we consider safe spaces where people can be themselves, and brave spaces where people can bring forward hard topics and challenge the narrative, the right to comfort and the fear of open conflict will both hinder those types of environments.”
Here are some examples of how the right to comfort maintains white supremacy culture at an individual level:
A Black person tells a coworker who said their hair is unprofessional that this is a racist statement. The white person becomes upset that they were targeted and demands an apology from their Black colleague.
"I was just trying to be nice and help her out, if she wants to be taken seriously, she shouldn't wear her hair like that"
A person of colour posts about the lasting effects of British colonialism and resource extraction after the Queen's death. Their comments are filled with white people saying "it's too soon" and inconsiderate to bring up these issues right now.
"There is a time and place for being critical of the monarchy, and now isn't it.
See our post on experiencing right to comfort in practice
Here are some examples of how the right to comfort maintains white supremacy culture at a systemic level:
Social media algorithms decide what content to prioritize, causing certain topics and creators to be shadow-banned. Often, this erases BIPOC voices and prevents users from seeing critical social commentary because it's 'too political.'
Our school systems, government, and legacy media teach us that speaking out against human rights violations is touchy and divisive, so we must stay neutral and 'see both sides.' This narrative justifies injustice by claiming that white people's opinions are more important than someone else's human rights. (read more in our Courageous Convos re: Palestine)
A government develops policy that informs policing institutions on what kinds of protest and dissent is 'acceptable' and 'justifiable,' punishing people who advocate for their rights with state sanctioned violence.
Antidotes to The Right to Comfort as a characteristic of white supremacy
1. Welcome discomfort and learn to sit with it
It can be really uncomfortable when we are made aware that our beliefs and unconscious biases are harmful - but if we don't embrace that discomfort as constructive criticism, we will never challenge our assumptions and be empowered to make change.
2. Decenter yourself, recenter community
Because discomfort is the root of all growth and change, we need to be willing to sit with that feeling before becoming defensive. NOBODY said it would be easy, but it's important to recognize that not every criticism is a direct attack on your personhood - instead, chances are this uncomfortable conversation is happening to better your awareness of injustice and oppression, not because you're a bad person.
3. We all need to embrace discomfort so we can unlearn our harmful conditioning under white supremacy culture.
White supremacy culture knows that discomfort is, well, uncomfortable - and it purposely delegitimizes marginalized voices so that we stand divided.
And it isn't just white people who struggle with this; in order to survive in a system designed to exclude us, many BIPOCs have unconsciously internalized white supremacy culture.
What this all comes down to is:
Because we aren't taught about white supremacy culture, we can't recognize it and because we can't recognize it, it is a lot harder to dismantle.
But that doesn't mean we give up. We must embrace the discomfort and uplift all voices (regardless of whether they sound polite or not), we can better learn from others, build communities and coalitions, and achieve radical change.
If we aren't taught it, we can't recognize it, and if we can't recognize it, we can't dismantle it.
Learn More:
Check out whitesupremacyculture.info (this resource is easy to access and review, but it is essential to know that a lot of it is uncredited learnings and wisdom from BIPOC by a white woman)
Anti-racism lit written by BIPOC authors, like White Women by Saira Rao and Regina Jackson, (or check out their doc, Deconstructing Karen on CBC Gem); Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall; Do Better by Rachel Ricketts; Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire, etc.
Full teachings, essays, letters, and books (aka not just stand-alone quotes) by Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, Fred Hampton, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, Toni Morrison, Angela Y. Davis, Kimbrelé Crenshawe, W.E.B Du Bois, Maya Angeou, Winona LaDuke
Check out our Instagram guide for this series, Antidotes to White Supremacy for more.
