John Tory doesn’t remember the #TimesUp movement, but do you?
On Friday February 10, John Tory resigned* from his role stating that,
“During the pandemic I developed a relationship with an employee in my office in a way that did not meet the standards to which I hold myself as mayor and as a family man” and that the relationship ended by “mutual consent” earlier this year. ”
Worth noting:
*Tory said he's resigning (and made all this noise that over-shadowed the news about Doug Ford) stayed an extra week in office to pass his budget which is infuriating.
In the discourse around John Tory's firing, we're noticing people are pointing out how they don't care about his sex life when there are hundreds of work-related failures for Tory to resign. And we understand the sentiment - but a reminder that John Tory starting a relationship with someone who works under him is (yet another) work-related failure.
And look, do we want to discuss the sex life of a person that is 68? No. But we need to, because, despite Tory's claim, this type of power dynamic is not a mutual relationship.
So let's talk about what #TimesUp is about.
Times Up launched after the long overdue #MeToo movement, and what it represented holds true to this day - safe, fair and dignified work for women [and gender diverse people] of all kinds.
“The trouble with engaging in a romantic relationship with someone over whom you hold power is that their consent to such a relationship cannot be truly said to be voluntary. Maybe your secretary is dating you not because she actually digs you, but because she’s afraid (probably fairly) that you’ll fire her or start treating her badly if she rejects you.”
Let's remember that laws have not historically protected women - In Canada, until 1983, sexually assaulting your wife was legal.
The logic that legally allowed gender-based violence within marriages still exists in our society and our systems.
Why? Because gender-based violence (both within and outside of marriage) continues to be the most common form of violence in our society.
And this cycle is only reinforced by those who continues to hold power in our society - our overwhelmingly male politicians, media companies, CEOs and business owners. Misogyny and patriarchy continue to underpin our systems (including newsrooms).
"Wait, but does this mean I can't date my boss?"
There's a reason there isn't a cut-and-dry answer to this - power dynamics are often misunderstood because they are complex and sticky.
Most organizations encourage disclosing any relationships to HR - which allow for the ability (or illusion of it) - to be able to tell someone if you feel like you are being coerced into a romantic relationship with a superior and/or if you feel as though your job and livelihood is at risk.
Considering John Tory was abusing his power and cheating on his wife, we highly doubt he disclosed his relationship with the then 20-something-year-old to Human Resources.
Any relationship with overlapping power dynamics may have certain degrees of coercion and influence affecting an individual's ability to voluntarily, enthusiastically and ongoing consent to a romantic relationship.
Yes, we think John Tory should resign.
We agree he should have resigned for failing the public. And it's frustrating to see him backtrack and stay long enough to pass his (inhumane) budget.
But abusing his power in a relationship with an employee is also reprehensible—and it is critical we include his abuse of power with an employee in his long list of failures.
